I am the world’s worst blogger

I really am, but that’s okay, right? I hope so. Life has been, well, life. Busy between work and school, still working out the details of the wedding (we’ve found a place!), and making sure to find the balance between pleasing others and taking care of myself. After a whirlwind few weekends, I declared last weekend Joe and I only time. Not everyone was horribly pleased about it, but we needed the break. We went to the fair on Sunday, spent way too much money, came home, crashed for a few hours, then went to get ramen for dinner. With Joe’s new schedule we only have one weekend day off together, but he works so early that he’s home by 2pm on Saturday, so its not a complete waste of a day if we actually go out and do stuff.

Oh! I got a new computer! A brand new, only ever been owned by me computer! Since my mac died we’ve been living off hand me downs and borrowed computers, but I got my financial aid check a few weeks ago, so we got me a new computer and Joe a ps3 since he had to sell his a few months ago. They had some ridiculously good deals t Walmart for both, so we didn’t spend all that much. Since I only use the computer for school and blogging, we didn’t need the super mac daddy of computers.

Well, I have to get ready for work, so I will talk to everyone later!

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You ever have one of those days?

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Its been a bad week. The temp agency hasn’t been able to find me any work, and the one job they do have, I don’t qualify for (I live too far, apparently. WTF?), so I have been emailing my resume all over hell and back this morning. Goose eggs. Nothing. Not even an automated email to tell me they got it. Really? Maybe I need to switch computers, who knows.

I started my period on Monday, which most would consider good news. Since I have a BC implant that is supposed to make those go away however, I’m a little concerned, especially after some of the horror stories I have heard. I’ve had it in for just over two years now, and the SOB is supposed to be good for three years. I’m planning on getting it removed anyways, but this doesn’t help me freak out less. No way am I ready for a baby, and if this thing fails, there is nothing else stopping his little swimmers. NOTHING. And his dad didn’t have four kids for nothing.

And then I get a call. Apparently something went wrong with my drug test, and they need to speak with me about some “medication” they found. Except I haven’t gotten a single phone call from them, I had to find out through the temp agency, who can’t even place me on another assignment until they get a clean drug screen back. So I have to call like six different people to figure out what the hell this is all about. Turns out it was my headache meds. Really? Like, seriously? Gah.

Timeto go fill out more job applications. Yay! (sarcasm)

I’m a bad blogger

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I know, I haven’t blogged in forever. In my defense, life has been bat shit crazy over the last few months and I just haven’t had the energy. My migraines have been allover the place, and then on top of everything else, I got my monthly visitor two days ago. Except I NEVER get one of those because of the bc method I’m using. So now I’m freaked out about that too. I actually had a purpose in writing today, I’ve started a private blog that is going to be like a journal for me(hence, why it is password protected and invite only), and I’d like to extend an invitation to anyone here that would like to read it. It will definitely be more”personal” than this blog and deal with slightly more sensitive topics (another reason for it to be private), so please don’t ask to read it unless you actually want to read it. I only have eight more slots available, so if you are interested, leave your username in the comments and I will send you an invite. At this time, it is only open to other wordpress users.

Yesterday…

Me and Joe at the beach, taken by my best friend

Me and Joe at the beach, taken by my best friend

I should start off with an apology. Yesterday’s post turned into a woe is me, I hate my life rant that never should have seen the light of day. I’d like to say thank you to all the people who took the time to read it, I know it wasn’t easy to read.

The second thing I’d like to start with is a confession. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2007, shortly after my ex committed suicide. I’m not currently on any medication (no health insurance and no money to pay out of pocket), but I do have other coping mechanisms that don’t take care of the symptoms the way medication does, but do allow me to function on a somewhat consistent basis. I’ve just chosen not to use them over the last few weeks, and yesterday’s post was a culmination of that.

I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again, but I’ve sat down with Joe and gone over my concerns and my fears, and he is going to keep me accountable. I’m going to finish this post and then get off the computer for a little bit to clear my head and make some breakfast, and then I’ll be back to start the job hunt. Wish me luck?