Two whole glorious days of not having to work are ahead of me. It brightens my outlook considerably. I have a pint of late night snack in the freezer, an incredible man screaming obscenities at the video game he is playing in front of me, and two whole days to focus on ME. On the agenda for tomorrow is a pampering day full of bubble baths and pretty nails, then Sunday is an “us” day, hanging out with my most favorite person in the whole world. We have plans to go get him a hair cut and me an eyebrow wax (the price of beauty), but other than that, I plan on lounging for the rest of the day in pj’s.
Yesterday was… bad. I’ve decided to leave the post up as a reminder that it’s okay to have bad days. We all have them, they’re what make us human. I’m going to talk to Joe on Sunday once we’ve both had a chance to relax and mellow out, and I think I’m going to print it out and/or show it to him. After 4 1/2 years together, he deserves to know the truth. I realize he’ll probably be upset with me for hiding it from him for so long, but something has to change. While I know we all have bad days, mine tend to have a negative impact on my life, and I don’t want that to happen. I’ll be finishing my application for health care this weekend, so hopefully I will be able to start the journey towards being bodily and mindfully healthy again.
I can’t promise there won’t be bad days. There will be. Last time I started this journey it took me six months to find medication that worked, and even then it had some rather difficult side effects. I’m not going to compromise this time, even if it takes longer to find the right combination and dosage. I need to be better, and I’m determined to get there any way I can.