Getting Old…

sucks big fat hairy monkey balls.

My dog Buttercup is 11 years old and has a giant growth on her back that my parents can’t afford to have operated on to find out if its cancer or not. She doesn’t seem to be in pain and is eating normally, so the plan is to let her be until it affects her quality of life. I love that dog more than sense. She got me through some rough times in my life, and I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for her. It broke my heart when my mom told me. And then, this morning I find out Joe’s brother’s cat MIckey had to be put to sleep last night. He was very old and had multiple health problems, but it just sucks. Joe was pretty upset and I felt completely helpless to do anything for him.

I just… I hate this. I realize death is a part of life, and animals usually do not outlive their humans, but it just sucks. For people whose pets are genuinely part of their family, the loss is just hard to deal with. On the one hand, you feel like you shouldn’t be grieving for them like you are because they’re “just” a pet. On the other hand, it really does feel like you’ve lost a very important person in your life. It’s hard to explain, but I’m sure my fellow pet owners will understand.

In other news, I turned another year older! I’m officially 3 decades old now. I’m also starting over on my “professional” blog with wordpress’ zero to hero challenge. Head on over HERE to follow along 🙂 The last few weeks have been hectic with the holiday’s and my birthday, but I’m slowly settling back into my routine, and hope to add a few things to it that have been missing lately. Here are my goals for the new year:

1. Write more. Be it blogging, journaling, or novel writing, I NEED to get back into the habit of writing, which is why I’ve decided to do the 30 day challenge with wordpress. All the experts say that if you do something everyday for 30 days, it becomes habit, so I am hoping that is the case for me. I’m also planning on participating in NaNoWriMo this year, for the first time ever! I’m hoping that by writing everyday, I will get in the habit and it will just come naturally to me when next November rolls around.

2. Cut back on the junk food/unhealthy eating habits. I am the queen of barely eating during the day and then scarfing down everything in sight when I get home at night. It needs to stop. I’m getting married next October and want to have a good selection of dresses to choose from this spring when I start looking for my dress, and the best way to do that is to lose some weight. Since food is the biggest hurdle for me, I will be concentrating on this for the time being. Eventually I’ll incorporate exercise as well, but I need to stick to my goals, and the best way to do that is to not push myself so hard that when I eventually mess up, I just give up entirely. This way I know I will be able to stick to it, and when I do mess up, I won’t feel completely defeated and give up entirely.

3. Cut back on the self-negativity. There is a difference between knowing your limitations and letting your limitations dictate how you act in life. I have a very bad habit of being very negative about myself, and I think that is what is holding me back in life. So it needs to stop now. As a friend put it, I need to start blowing sunshine and roses out my ass until I start believing in myself. So once a week, I will be writing down a list of at least three things I accomplished that week and/or like about myself. I may publish them, I may not. I haven’t decided yet, and that is perfectly okay.

Well, that is about all I can think of, and its super late, so I need to take the dog out and then head to bed. Goodnight everyone!

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5 thoughts on “Getting Old…

    • My grandparents have her brother (long story), and he has the same type of growths as the one on her back, and his aren’t cancerous, but eventually they’ll make it difficult for both of them to even move. It sucks because she is such a hyper dog. It was weird seeing her be calm last weekend.

  1. She’s part golden retriever, and they are very hyper dogs, so its weird to me to see her lay down for so long. She’s just old though, so part of it is that.

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