I feel like every time I log on to blog, I lose all interest, so I put it off for weeks on end. Its not like I don’t have things to talk about. I have the wedding, school, the job hunt, my crazy family, and all the things that seem to come crashing down around you when you announce to your family that you’ve decided to marry the man of your dreams. There are so many societal rules when it comes to getting married that if I wasn’t my mom’s only girl I’d run off to the courthouse and just get it all over with.
But I’ve got those pesky little things called dreams. I’ve dreamed of my dress since I was a little girl, and whenever I pictured my wedding day, I was surrounded by my family and friends. And then lets add in the fact that my mom would be absolutely crushed if I were to get married without her there. So a wedding it is.
Part of me is excited, really excited. And then another part of me is dreading everything. I hate planning and organizing almost as much as I hate being the center of attention. I’mt not the most coordinated of people in the world, and I’m terrified of embarrassing myself in front of everyone. Adding a 20 pound dress and heels into the mix is definitely not going to help in that department.
But I know that if I don’t have the wedding I want, I will end up resenting myself and Joe because we settled. We took the easy way out when what I wanted was just out of reach. We’re being responsible and saving the money before we do anything, which means its going to take a bit longer to have what I want. I’ve waited four years, I don’t think a few more months is going to be a problem. We’re keeping the guest list small, so even if we do have a full reception, it won’t be that expensive.